February 2009
“There is nothing holier in this life of ours than the
first fluttering of its silken wings.”
Henry W. Longfellow
Are you speaking your mate's love language?
Do you know how to effectively convey unconditional feelings of respect, affection and commitment that will resomate in your partner's soul?
Each person expresses and receives love best through one of five different communication styles. Of course we receive love in all the languages, but which one is perceived in the clearest and loudest voice?
Use the right love language and your message of love will come through loud and clear.
Use the wrong one and you will see your relationship dwindle away.
There are many books that go into details about relationship building and marriage counselling but there is one book that has made a strong impact on us is called “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. We strongly encourage you to read this incredible book with your partner. You will discover some phenomenal insights on how to strengthen your love bond.
The five love languages that Dr. Chapman describes are: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality
time, gifts and acts of service.
Which one is yours and which one is your partner’s? Chances are they are totally different.
Even with the best intentions and the highest desire to show ultimate, undeniable, true love to your partner, you will miss the boat and deplete their love tank if all you do is speak your love language rather than theirs. (and vice versa)
Until you get your hands on the Five Love Languages book, here is a brief list of the suggested love languages. Hopefully it will get you thinking about communicating your love in the way that your partner will best perceive it. (and vice versa)
Physical touch
Tickling, wrestling, Playful touch
Holding hands
Playing with their hair
Rubbing their back
Leaning against each other, cuddling
Yes... of course... SEX
Words of affirmation
Words of affection...TELL them you love them!
Words of endearment
Words of praise
Words of appreciation
Words of encouragement
Love notes
Quality Time
Actually this means QUANTITY time ( quality will only come from quantity)
Give them your undivided attention, full eye contact
Chat with them during supper rather than watch TV
Do something, other than sex, together
Create an environment that will lead to meaningful conversations
Create memories that last a lifetime
Gifts
Offer your partner meaningful gifts ( the best are often free)
Gifts on “special occasions” don’t really count as much as those offered spontaneously
It’s more about the thought behind the gift than the gift itself
Wrap or at least give the gift in a unique, creative way
Acts of Service
Help with the little things as well as the big things such as chores or life events
Listen to them prepare a speech or vent after a frustrating day
Make them breakfast in bed
Open the doo for them
Be of service to them when least expected
Remember that there are so
many ways to say, "I love you”.
the “best way” to communicate it!
